Back To Work

After two months of vacation leave, I finally went back to work yesterday. And the crazy traffic and weather welcomed me.

. . . back to work momma

kissy, kissy . . .

Time flies so quickly. The 2-month leave is over. The crazy traffic and weather welcomed me. What a treat.

Anyway, I'm just glad to be back to the daily grind. Will surely miss Munchkin. She is growing up so fast. In a few months she will be turning two. Oh the terrible two. It is so close I can almost taste it. I think it's starting now what with the whinings and meltdowns.

. . . me and my mini

quality time when I was still on vacation . . .

. . . munchkin and her books

to keep her occupied . . .

. . . but then she got bored

and turned the books into forts 🙃  . . .

She really takes after me. This is my karma. For being a bratty little kid back then.

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Grief & Healing

Exactly a month ago today, I was gonna make a big announcement on this blog. As the saying goes "things happen for a reason". Now I understand why it never happened and it has to happen in a later time.

And today is the time.

March 16

Delayed period for almost two weeks. Took a pregnancy test and the result was . . .
 

. . . POSITIVE!!!!

Hooray! Baby number 2 coming! Munchkin's going to be a big sister. It was an unexpected pregnancy. Well, we are planning to have another baby supposedly next year but it looks like we will be having it sooner.

Daddy and soon-to-be big sister Munchkin . . .

The pregnancy started out fine. In my 7th week I was actually waiting for the signs like morning sickness, nausea and all but nothing. It felt like I was not pregnant at all. I actually thought we might be having a boy this time. 

. . . 7th week and feeling nothing. Like I'm not pregnant at all.

 

Boy was I wrong? Eighth week came and that's when all the sickness started. Must be another baby girl, then? Lol! Truth be told, I was confused with the number of weeks I was pregnant because I did not have implantation bleeding like last time.

After 2 weeks of queasiness and throwing up nonstop I was able to resume to my normal routine. I was happy and sad. Happy because my wishes came true:

1. I wish to be pregnant and still be able to work. When I was pregnant with Munchkin, I was so sick I had to quit my job.
2. I wish to have baby number 2 before I turn 35.
3. Since my due date is December, it means I will be staying at home for the holidays! Christmas and New Year, oh yeah!

Sad because:

1. I still haven't eaten sushi and sashimi for the longest time. I promised myself that as soon as Munchkin is born, I will eat sushi and sashimi. However, I completely forgot about it. And don't get me started with my cocktails. I wish I went all out on cocktails, wines and champagne from when Tapioca and I went out on a date. Now I have to wait another year to enjoy those things.
2. Baby number 2 and I will be sharing the same birth month and I don't want that. Nor do I want him/her to share the birth month of Tapioca and Munchkin. I was hoping he/she would be born on a different month than ours.
3. I was worried Munchkin would get jealous once baby #2 arrives. I felt that it would be better if we could have given her more time to enjoy all the attention to be an only child. 

Despite all these, the happiness still reigns. Tapioca and I were excited and so did the people around us who knew about it. But the happiness did not last long. Things we never thought or imagined would happen.

May 25

I woke up and found my undies with a tinge of blood. It was so tiny and brownish in color that I had to ask Tapioca and double check if it's really blood. I was in panic. Too scared but not sure what to do. I did not experience this from my 1st pregnancy.

May 28 

Had my very first ultrasound. The doctor assured me the baby is doing okay with a good fetal heartbeat rate. It was a singleton and doing perfectly fine in my womb. The last thing I would like to hear from her is that we are having twins or at worst an ectopic pregnancy. I was so relieved after the ultrasound was done and that I have nothing to worry about the bleeding. The doc said I must be tired from work and the daily commute. 

June 9 

Bloody stain on my undies again? What have I done this time? 

June 10. 

Still there's blood stain on my undies. I was feeling sick but I needed to go to work. It was a Friday and last shift for the week. Tomorrow, I'll have my check up. I just took paracetamol to make me feel better and went on my way to the office.

June 11

The brownish stain had turned red. I experienced the worst stomach cramps like labor pains. This happened early in the morning while I was still at work. I was in pain but I was being positive everything's going to be okay. I will see my doctor in the afternoon.

Afternoon came and I saw blood tissues coming out as I peed. I knew something was definitely wrong. 

When we were at the doctor's clinic and she did an IE on me, more blood came out. It was so scary I didn't know what to think anymore. My OB explained what's going on and that we could have lost the baby. She tried to check the heartbeat but nothing. She requested we get an ultrasound to confirm the baby's condition. I was crying but I kept my composure. I stop myself. It is not the right place to cry. But deep down I knew we had lost the baby. 

As soon as we got home, I went to our room and did some research about threatened abortion. Why, how? Those were the questions in my head. When I couldn't take it anymore I cried my heart out. It was so heartbreaking. I never thought this could happen to me. Because I've experienced  being pregnant and successfully delivered a baby, I thought I could do it again without any problems. But I was wrong. 

They say every pregnancy is different. Which is actually true. I have learned so much from this experience. And I have learned to love more the people who mean so much to me. Tapioca said that I should never blame myself for what happened. It may not be our time yet to have another baby. We are still young and we can try again. 

I knew we had never planned to have this baby in the first place but it breaks my heart so much when I already invested emotions and accepted the fact that we're going to have another baby. 

June 13

I went under the D&C procedure. Inside the operating room alone, I found comfort while reciting my prayers in my thoughts. Thankfully, I was asleep and did not  feel anything. The procedure was quick and I was able to go home the next day.

June 16

We had set up an appointment at the church to have baby #2 blessed before we said our final goodbye. We buried the remains at an empty lot right next to our apartment building. I was wishing we could have done it at our family's tomb/graveyard but it's all the way in the province and we did not have enough time.


Currently, I can say I am now past the grief and recovering. There are times that I still cry at night. There are also times when I feel bitterness, especially when I see women with baby bumps. Sometimes I thought that the only way to move on is to have another baby. But then I remind myself that time will eventually unfold the reason why all these happened. I know I just needed time to completely heal.

This is not the first time I've lost a loved one. The first time was when my father passed away. I almost got into depression. Thank God I had Tapioca who shook me out of it. Once again, I thank God for Tapioca. He and Munchkin are the reason, my reason.



Ending this post with one of my favorite poems. Without really knowing what it means at first.

*****^^^^^******

One Art

By Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn’t hard to master;

so many things seem filled with the intent

to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster

of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.

The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:

places, and names, and where it was you meant

to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or

next-to-last, of three loved houses went.

The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,

some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.

I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.

—Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture

I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident

the art of losing’s not too hard to master

though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

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Beers Paradise

8-25-2010

This is one of those aging posts. Photos that were buried and now finding its way here in the blog. Before TBT (Throwback Thursday), I was making blog posts I called Retrospect, which you can see here and here.

I was thinking of doing the same thing for the aging blog posts. But then I realized most (if not all) of them are in the same category! Like every-single-freakin'-one-of-them! So I'm erasing the idea and I will just post as I like as I always do anyway.

This is one of the problems when posting backlogs. I can no longer recall every single detail. I am just relying solely on the photos for memories. Well, at least they are still existing. Timelines just don't care. Not on this blog. Not anymore. But I am hoping I can fix that soon. I know I said that a million times but I sure will. This blog is like my time capsule so it is important to me that it gets fixed.

Moving on, this post was about the time when me and Tapioca were still dating. We realized that we were too old to go clubbing and we found out that we both love Jazz Music. One weeknight, we went out for some Jazz Music. Due to lack of research, planning and timing it was a total failure. We went from North to South without any luck. So we just settled for whatever place we could get something to drink and some good conversation.

store front . . . 

 . . . beers paradise

 

 coaster . . .

 

 . . .  Hephaestion and Tapioca

Hephaestion came along to join us with our failed Jazz Bar hunting. LOL!
 

 beers on display . . .

This place boasts of their wide variety of beers from all over the world. However, I do not recall trying out any imported beers. Based on the photos we just had San Mig Light. So sad when we have so many to choose from. I wonder what we were thinking back then?

 . . . pizza

 shrimp kebabs . . .

Food was just okay. Based on the photos, pizza looked pitiful. The shrimps looked yummy. Honestly, we were not really focused on the food. It was just simply hanging out and enjoying each other's company.

  . . . Hephy playing with the pizza garnish

time for some desserts . . .

Told ya, this post is so old I still have my braces on. 

Right across Beers Paradise, we saw a Korean convenience store. We check out the fridge for some ice cream treats. Here we are posing with our picks.

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I Just Came To Say Hello

Hello there. Surprise to see some new (but actually old) posts on the blog? Well, that's because I've been stuck at home for almost a week now due to sore eyes. Contagious, I know. I am taking extreme caution not to infect anyone at home, especially Munchkin.

This was me during a check up at Makati Med. Took a selfie to check if my eyes were red but they did not seem so. I was hoping it was just some irritation or something. Until the ophthalmologist took a look and confirmed it's sore eyes. Yikes.


I think I needed this time off to relax from the stress at work. Also, it is a good time to bond with Munchkin again. She is growing up so fast and there is no stopping it. So while she's asleep here I am doing some blog posts.

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Tagaytay Weekend

Last weekend, my officemates and I had an impromptu day trip tour to Tagaytay. It has been a while since the last time I went there. I think it was back in 2014 when The Apat na Sikat had a family trip to Tagaytay. It was prolly the last food trip/vacay I had before I got preggers. It was a happy day. Only if Tapioca joined us, it could have been double the fun.
 
We were there for two things - bulalo and cheesecake. Yes, my colleagues and I share the love for cheesecake. Just don't ask where's the best cheesecake. We have our own opinions.

For bulalo, Mahogany market it was because we were cheapskates hahaha! And true enough you get what you pay for.

. . . at the mahogany market

me and my colleagues . . .

We also had crispy Tawilis. Yummy! I also ordered extra to take home. They were still good and crispy after 2 days.

. . . bulalo, crispy tawilis and rice galore!!!

Sorry about the photo. Such a shame that the focus was more on the rice than the bulalo (harhar!). I accidentally deleted all the photos from my new phone. I was trying to transfer them over to my PC only to realize I deleted them without a backup. Sigh. So all I got are the pictures I posted over on Instagram and a few from Benj.

To be honest, it felt weird eating bulalo in Tagaytay without the view. And to be really, totally and absolutely honest, Leslie's bulalo might not be the best in Tagaytay but somehow it made all the difference because of the view they offer. I know I'm being biased but come on, just look at the header of this blog! Yeah, that was taken at Leslie's eons ago. So there you go my memories hahaha!

After filling up ourselves with bulalo, tawilis and more extra rice, we burned off the calories by strolling at Picnic Grove. Since it was the weekend, there were so many people, mostly families with little kids. I hope to bring Munchkin here soon. She will definitely love the horsey back ride. She is now at a point where she loves learning about animals.

Also, at one point while we were walking, my bag broke. It was asking for a replacement. My Liz Claiborne bag. So I bought whatever was available at the souvenir shops.

Lastly, time for the cheesecake. I remember Tapioca and I got lost looking for Bag of Beans, the main branch in Tagaytay. Now they have three branches and they offer breakfast and lunch buffet! On this visit, we were determined to get to the original branch. So glad we made it happen and we didn't get lost looking for it.

bag o' beans here we go!!!

The place was still charming. But the food prices have skyrocketed! Lol! Remember, we're being cheapskates on this trip? But we completely forgot because of course, the cheesecake! Lucky us, we got to sit in the cabana!!! Picture, picture!

. . . us in one of the cabanas

and here you can see my new bag . . .

. . . and the cheesecake of our dreams!!!

It was a tiring day but nevertheless we had fun. We've been working hard and long hours and this was our reward. We absolutely deserved this quick break.

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Brunch Buffet - Alfred, Makati Diamond Residences

I was lucky to find an ongoing promo for a brunch buffet at Alfred - a fine dining restaurant at Makati Diamond Residences. They were celebrating their first year anniversary and as a treat to their patrons, they were offering a weekend brunch buffet for only Php1k!!! Yes, you heard it right. Inclusive of all the drinks you want (bubblies, wines, cocktails, soft drinks, coffee, tea, you name it)! I was planning on getting a slot for Tapioca's birthday weekend but because seats were limited, we missed it. Our reservation fell in March, a month after his birthday. Nevertheless, the wait was worth it.

Let me just tell you this story. Before our gastronomic adventure, Tapioca and I went into a big fight over something I can't remember anymore. What I do remember was that it was a huge fight that I ended up crying and decided to call it a day. It was the day when we were supposed to go out for brunch. I just came home from a night shift and being confronted with such stuff, I basically just wanted to sleep. Forget about the fancy brunch. I was so upset and pissed that I decided to forego our reservation.

Tapioca, finally realized what he did and knew I was dead serious about letting go of the two thousand pesos. He apologized and we kissed and made up. But it took him a long time. The brunch buffet starts at 11am and we were still at home at 1pm. When all is said and done, we went on our way hoping and praying that they didn't give our seats away.

And they didn't. Thank God! We were more than 2 hours late. The buffet ends at 3pm which means we have an hour and a half to enjoy the spread. We missed out on the main event, though. The Jamon Serrano and Iberico. They were wiped out according to the servers. We also missed the pass around. Anyway, we were just happy to be there and eat whatever's left.

The hotel was so beautiful and elegant. I wish I could have taken more pictures. But then again we were late. What's more important was to get down to business pronto.

. . . the view of the hallway from our table

Isn't it splendid? Feels so luxurious. Like we don't belong. I'm glad Tapioca and I kinda dressed up a bit. Teehee.

table setting . . .

Very simple table setting. Look at those cutleries. So shala!

. . .Tapioca and his first plate

Tapioca immediately went for the meat.

Jellybean's first plate and first round of champagne . . .

While I had my usual appetizers. My eyes were still swollen from crying but you can tell I was happy and enjoying my meal, especially the bubbly :)

. . . Tapioca's first plate up close

Rib-eye steak, lamb chops, grilled prawn, ravioli pasta and some roasted veggies.

Jellybean's first plate . . .

Freshly made Caesar salad, some quiche and a risotto ball. I love, love the salad! I wanted to go for another round but of course I have to make room for the other good stuff.

. . . 2nd round of champagne, iced tea and water

I got a glass of ice tea because I felt I was getting buzzed too quickly. Oh well, I haven't been drinking for quite some time. Wala na practice hahahaha!

my 2nd plate . . .

Wala na rin ako practice sa buffet so these were the things I got. Just a little bit of everything. I was trying so hard to phase myself and not get overwhelmed. The buffet spread may not be as grand and extensive compared to the others. But every single dish they got I can tell was so worth it. As in. Like where can you get a ravioli stuffed with foie gras? Lamb chops, not all hotels serve lamb chops in their buffet spread. I think if you order any of these dishes a la cart it would cost more than what we paid for. So sulit talaga!

. . .  ooey goey cheesey goodness!

Please don't get me started with the cheese. It's not just the usual cheese, They've got raclette! And the server will happily bring it over to your table. No need to fall in line. Talk about excellent service with excellent cheese! Tapioca and I were so in love with the food. If only I could drink more wine.

my 3rd round of bubbly . . .

I chose a mimosa for my 3rd round. :-)

. . . the dining area

The entire place looks really posh.

my dessert plate . . .

For desert I had this trio on a plate - lemon tiramisu, bouchon and rhubarb topped with ice cream.

lechon . . .

I forgot to tell you, they got a lechon and paella station, too which Tapioca and I completely ignored. I think it's not just us who ignored it but most of the crowd. We were actually seated right next to this station and I noticed not a lot of people were going for it. A few minutes before the buffet closed, I noticed the lechon was still intact. It was looking at me and me like saying "Hello, pansinin mo naman ako." Though I was already full to the brim, I got up and got myself a small portion. I told myself, baka mapaniginipan ko pa eh and regret not trying it.
 

. . . Tapioca's dessert choice

On the other hand, Tapioca opted for ice cream.

ice cream in a fancy glass . . .

They've got chocolate, cheese and strawberry. I think these were in-house made.

. . . lemon tiramisu for Tapioca

Tapioca liked my lemon tiramisu so he got himself a serving, too. Well, Tapioca is very partial with citrusy dessert and I think that's the reason he liked this one.

. . . our happy faces

We had an awesome time at Alfred even though we only got to stay for just an hour and a half. We would love to come back and hopefully experience the whole thing from the start. Hoping they'd come out with another promo next year.

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