"Stop Wasting Money!"

This is what the munchkin would say whenever Tapioca came home from grocery shopping. At first, I couldn't seem to understand where the idea of wasting money came from. I mean, for a 5 year-old, how can buying groceries be considered wasting money?

Then one time, I asked her to get her cup from the cupboard. She then saw all our drinking glasses collection. She said "Mommy, you have so many glasses. You're wasting money!" Hmmm, not again. Minimalist living ba ang peg ng anak ko? Then I thought she may be right. But how on earth can my daughter understand this early about wasting money?

I figured it was from watching and playing Roblox. You know, the game play allows you to earn and save money so you'll be able to buy upgrades and other things. Please don't nag that I'm being an irresponsible parent for letting Munchkin play Roblox. 

When it comes to games and stuff, that is Tapioca's territory. He makes sure that all safety measures are implemented. So I trust him when it comes to decisions about what games Munchkin is allowed to play. Though, if Tapioca would have it his way, he would rather Munchkin play Minecraft instead. 

Going back, while some parents might consider Roblox a bad thing, I think there's something good that came out of it and that is Munchkin learning the importance and value of money. As early as now, we tell her that we are not rich. That Mommy and Daddy need to work hard to earn money. 

So when she wants something, she will always ask if it's expensive or not. Because she knows if it is expensive, it might take time for us to buy it or we may never be able to afford it at all. 

And speaking of wasting money, I came across a video from Chiky Tan which is very much the reason for this post. He discussed 8 reasons that waste all our money. After watching the video, it further proved that Munchkin was right after all.

 

We are wasting our money when we do grocery shopping! So there we have it, Munchkin! From now on, no more cereals, no more Chuckie choco drinks and Dutch Mill yogurt drinks and pancakes and strawberry jam. Hahaha! My little munchkin can only answer with her biggest smile.

Oops, I was wrong. She said she will help Mommy and Daddy daw by earning money by playing more Roblox. Aws.

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Covid Scare at the Grocery

Tapioca was scheduled to do the grocery today. As usual, he woke up very early. He made sure to get there by 5am so he can be on the first batch of grocery shoppers when the store opens at 6am.

. . . grocery entrance (pre-covid days)

But today was different. At 5am, Tapioca was surprised to be in the top 10. First 10 customers, meaning a very big chance he’ll get into the first batch. It used to be that there’s already a kilometer long line of shoppers. But as I said, today was different.

 early birds who will get to the 1st batch (before the covid scare) . . .

He asked some of the people in line what happened. Why are there less people in line? He was told it was because one of the grocery cashiers tested positive for COVID-19. People got scared and no longer want to go shopping at Mercato Mart Supermarket. (All photos are from Mercato's facebook page.)

. . . kilometer long line (before the covid scare)

It sounds like a bad business for Mercato. Possible that grocers are now shopping at Puregold or SM Hypermart or Super 8 or Tropical Hut. These are the number of groceries in our neighborhood. It is quite a lot. We do have plenty of choices but we like to go to Mercato because they have the lowest price.

Bad business for Mercator but good thing for Tapioca. It means he doesn't have to wait long in the line anymore. But is it really a good thing? I mean, come to think of it. People are so paranoid about the virus. Tapioca has been going to Mercato for our grocery supplies even pre-corona virus days .

The person who contracted the virus was a cashier. Can you just imagine that person who probably got in contact with all the items going to your shopping bags which you would bring home to your family? What are the odds or the chances of you catching the virus, too? So the paranoia is pretty understandable.

However, I do believe, with observing physical distancing, proper wearing of masks at all times when outside and sanitizing ourselves as well as the things we bring home, we should be able to prevent it. Thank God we are still Covid-free at this time. Our barangay and compound still have zero cases.

So are we still going to shop at Mercato? Absolutely. I love Mercato! I can't express enough how happy I am when my sister in law introduced me to them. I know you might say I am exaggerating. But they truly have the lowest price in the market. And I have receipts to prove.

I was actually thinking of blogging about the savings we are getting when we shop at Mercato compared to other groceries. It's going to be tedious but I think I'm gonna enjoy it. Since now I am a practical mommy and I get all cheery when I get all these amazing discounts and deals. Yes, that's what adulting have taught me. Learn how to be practical and know where your money is going. Up to the last cent.

I know I am babbling nonsense. But I'm telling you it makes so much of a difference when you see the numbers. Yes, the numbers are real and they never lie. I just recently learned that hahaha. Well, better late than never. I also understand why math and numbers are important in our daily lives. Because it will set us free. It shows us the real world we are living. Sorry If I'm being a bore. I just suddenly had a light bulb moment.

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The Cruz Cousins Reunion and Collab

I just saw the collaboration of The Cruz cousins namely Donna, Geneva, Sunshine and Sheryl. It was amazing how despite the physical/social distancing, they were able to do a reunion showcasing their talents. They were once popular back in the days. Before social media and all.

It was Donna who was my favorite then. Still my favorite now. I find her still charming and beautiful even more. My least favorite was Sheryl. I'd say she is still my least favorite until now.

Ooops, no offense to her fans. It's just that I find her beauty and personality unappealing. Heck, why do I even have to explain myself? Tsk, tsk. I cannot believe social media has created this mentality that saying something that does not necessarily good to something or someone is considered bullying.

Like I am not entitled to my own thoughts and opinions. Puh-lease! Leave me alone and this tiny space I have in the world wide web. Choz! Sorry for the rambling. Sheryl might not even like me, too. So I guess the feeling is mutual. HAHAHA!

Since I'm talking about not liking Sheryl Cruz, I would like to share another video where she is not included. I think this came out first before the Breathless cover. I'd have to say I like this even better.

This was a cover of the Wilson Philips' song called "You're In Love". This got me all emotional. The feels. The memories. The nostalgia. It definitely hit a spot. And I can't stop watching it.

I hope they will come out with an original song. I'm sure I'm not the only one who missed them.

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Getting My Groove Back - One Day At A Time

. . . photo from https://www.magzter.com/article/Lifestyle/Transformation-Magazine/Every-Cloud-Has-A-Silver-Lining

For the past few days or maybe even weeks (I'm sorry but I have lost count or should I say I just stop counting anymore LOL!), sleep has eluded me.

But today is a little different. After days of trouble sleeping, constantly waking up in the middle of the night and unable to go back to sleep, I finally found refuge.

Last night, I slept at 9pm and woke up at 12:30am. I thought it was just another day of sleeplessness and restlessness. Surprisingly, I fell back to sleep and when I woke up it was past 4am! That was such a feat. I didn't try to go back to sleep anymore and went into my daily meditation. I hope this is the start. I wish it's the start of me getting my body clock to work normally as it should.

As I sat for my morning meditation, I was grateful for the sleep that finally arrived. I do not know if this is just going to be for today. If it is then, I am still grateful. As they say, we should all take it one day at a time. Just like how we should take this pandemic.

One day at a time.

I know everyone is longing and praying for the day that a cure will be discovered and that soon we can all go back to the normal. The "old normal" not the new normal (If you can even call it normal). I long for the things that I used to do without the fear of contracting the virus.

Today's meditation made me realize something. That there's a reason for all these things happening to us right now. We cannot hurry things. We have to wait for His time. His perfect timing. He is teaching us a lesson here. He is teaching us to appreciate all things that we used to take for granted when we are still living in the old normal. Like you know, a good night's sleep. When you just need to worry about your life and how to survive the week.

Now, we have to think of everyone's welfare. We have to help each other out. Everyone's affected in this crisis.

The rich and the poor. The virus does not discriminate.

Those at the bottom part of society already feel the drastic effect, but even those rich people, they will eventually feel the impact of these trying times. Yeah, they might have all the money right now but eventually mawawalan rin. Mas mabagal nga lang ang effect compared to us who are in the lower part of the pyramid.

Each and everyone of us is interconnected. The businesses need consumers. Consumers rely on businesses for their needs and wants. If there's anything that is susceptible to this pandemic it is none other than the health sector, whose business is to take care of people. Those who are sick and needed medical attention, but most especially those who are infected by the virus.

But then again, if they lost all their people, all their doctors, nurses, etc. because of the virus then wala rin sila. Deads din ang business. That's why we really need to help each other out.

I believe God wanted all this to happen so we can contemplate and learn our lesson. We need to be more compassionate. We need to learn how to be grateful for the things we have. We need to learn a very important lesson first so that everything that's happening to us right now will have a meaning and purpose.

All the deaths and sacrifices will not be put in vain. Those people who died because of the pandemic won't die in vain. There should be a realization for all of us. Until then, probably that's the time this will all end.

Of course, I really do hope it will be, soon. Very very soon. There's always a silver lining. ALWAYS. And when you hit rock bottom, you know, there's no other way but to go up.

But seriously though, I needed this sleep (who doesn't?). I needed to wake up and be grateful for each morning with a good vibe. Because mornings are my silver linings. They always make me feel hopeful in whatever way it can.

Every morning comes a new day, a new hope, a new beginning. So I'm taking it one day at a time.

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Don't Tell Me I'm Beautiful, I Know.

. . .photo from http://lionlamb-bowmanville.blogspot.com/2011/12/liar-liar-pants-on-fire.html

Can you tell if somebody is lying to you? Like in your face, lie to you?

Sometimes I don't. Most of the time I do.

For example, a stranger tells me that I look beautiful. Ding Ding! Lie. Liar.

Another example. A colleague sat with me at the office cafeteria. For some unknown reason, randomly tells me how pretty I am that day. Ding Ding!. Lie, another liar.

Of course, I don't tell that to their faces. I mean, a compliment is still a compliment. I don't need to be a moron and come out with nasty remarks.

Whatever their intentions were, with or without malice, it's still a good response to say "thank you".

But folks please be it known that I am beautiful not because I feel beautiful. (A-ha, -i-claim ko na!)

Know that I know you're lying because my beauty is not skin deep.

It is from within.

And I thank you.

xjellybean74170

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The Thing About Korean Food

I was browsing thru Real Asian Beauty's (or RAB for short) Youtube channel and saw some easy to do recipes that we also make at home. I noticed she makes a lot of Korean food.

I watched one video where she tried to make the now famous Jjapaguri from the award winning movie Parasite.

. . . photo from https://sea.mashable.com

I was entertained and amazed on how she was able to read Hangul.

Then I watched her DIY samgyupsal video. Damn, I am seriously craving samgyupsal right now.

I blame Itaewon Class for that. Not to mention, BEER.

I feel so stupid for not stocking up on beers. Tapioca, the wiser one was able to buy several bottles of his liquor of choice. Right on time before the liquor ban. Good for him.

I thought Coke and soft drinks were enough. Now the stress from all the anxieties makes me want to drink beer.

But again, I blame Itaewon Class. I should have not watched it. Lol!

. . . photo from https://news.abs-cbn.com

. . . photo from http://www.dramabeans.com

Check out those beer bottles in the background. I'm not sure what they are but I am salivating like crazy! Man, oh man. I am so gonna stock up on beer when the liquor ban is lifted.

I'm also dreaming of having something like this at home. . .

. . . beer vending machine!!! how cool is that?!? (photo from https://www.reddit.com)

Beer and samgyupsal. When this (quarantine)pandemic is over, I'm definitely lining up at Samgyupsalamat.

Going back to RAB's channel, I watched another video where she tried to create Japchae.

Unlike her Jjapaguri, I was having some doubts about her procedures. Questions like why does she have to separate the marination of the mushroom and meat? I mean, same marinade but why separate? Then I found out it's because she was gonna cook it separately. But the most cringe-y of them all was when they were putting all the ingredients together. It felt so wrong to be mixing everything in such a small shallow dish.

I felt violated. Err wrong word. Violated is such a strong word. I felt sorry for the person mixing it. And I felt bad because I cannot unsee what I've seen. Suddenly, I felt the need to watch how a freakin' Japchae is supposed to be made.

I went to Maangchi's channel and I'm so glad I did. By the way, Maangi is one of my favorite Korean bloggers/authors. I did not know if she was a blogger first or vlogger or an author first. All I know, as soon as I started reading her recipes and stories online, I can tell this girl knows what she's talking about.

So while I was watching Maangchi make her Japchae, I could not help but compare it to RAB.

I realized I can't really blame RAB for trying to make her own Japchae based on how she knew it was done and what she had in her kitchen.

I mean, I too had my shortcomings in making home cooked meals. As a homemaker, I should have known that everyone needs to improvise, come up with an alternative or substitute in order to whip up a meal.

So again, I should have known better.

By the way, I am so buying these metal mixing bowls. I need them in my life!!! I need them for baking, mixing sauces, marinades, and making my first japchae, just like Maanchi's.

. . . photo from https://www.amazon.com

While watching Maangchi, I realized some similarities between Koreans and the French on how they prepare their food. An example would be the way Maangchi cooked each and every ingredient for the Japchae separately to keep the colors of the vegetables. I have seen the same method from a French cook before. Both almost always used fresh and colorful ingredients.

Let's not forget, Koreans cannot live without banchan or side dishes.  It is like how the French must have 3 or 4 courses per meal. French and Koreans have high regards to their cuisine. Even when they are out of the country, they insist on having food that's familiar to them.

But I guess I can't say that in general. Koreans and French are now adapting or eating different types of cuisine due to globalization. Say for example, burgers are becoming a trend in France. The French people finally embrace fast food. Same thing with Koreans. They are now eating non traditional Korean food such as fried chicken and pizza.

So what is the sense of this post? Hmmm wala lang. I just find it amusing. That's all. Sorry for wasting your time. Hahaha.

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No Excuses

It's the first day of the month. The first quarter of the year is done. We are now halfway through the month-long enhanced community quarantine. In two weeks time, my little Pumpkin is turning one.

. . . photo from http://starrygoldacademy.com/successtips/first-quarter-of-the-year-has-gone-are-you-making-progress-2/

So what have I accomplished so far being stuck at home with ample time in my hand?


1. Published blog posts that were long overdue.

2. Caught up with watching movies and TV shows.

3. Spent a lot of time with Tapioca and the kids.

4. Caught up on ZZZ.

5. Woke up and slept on time like a normal human being.

6. Practiced my cooking skills again.

7. Organized some of my photos and documents on my computer.


Things that I'm still putting off at this time.

1. Clearing/getting rid of the house clutter.

2. Sorting out clothes in my closet and the kids' closet.

3. Organizing my paper clutter and shredding documents.


Isn't it obvious, the things that I've been putting off are the things that I hate doing? Though I have all the time now due to the quarantine, I am still not going through them.

There are also things that I still needed to work on especially with the kids.

Munchkin still needs a lot of help in practicing how to read. Pumpkin needs to get used to eating solid food. He's turning one soon and he is still not used to eating solid food. I get myself to blame for all these.

I still got a couple more weeks left. No one knows if the quarantine will be extended or not. Part of me wishes that we can all go back to normal soon. The other part can't imagine going back to normal too soon. There's just too many uncertainties.

One thing's for sure, though. I need to stop slacking off. I need to tick off all the things on my to-do list before the quarantine ends. Even if it gets extended. I have no excuse. None at all.

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Blogging Again

...image from writingexplained.org

Why, hello there. I checked my blog and was surprised to see that my last post was 2 years ago. Amazing.

Like I always say, I try. Like literally trying to get this blog updated. I have created sooooo many drafted posts waiting to be published. Hay, life. My life.

Yesterday, I read Ms. Tina Tagle’s post on her blog. She is finally saying goodbye to blogging. I’m one of her regular readers and I know that this was not the first time she tried to stop blogging. I hope it’s just one of those phases she is going through. If not, then the blogging world just lost one of the very few who are truly authentic bloggers. They are getting very extinct.

Anyways, going back to my blog, I just wanted to let you know that I am still very much into blogging. And I’m not thinking of quitting. Not yet. I’m actually still working on updating it. I just needed to organize all of my photos so it will be easier to remember events as they happened.

So there. Hopefully, I get it done soon. I have tons of photos waiting to be posted. My Instagram account is much more updated but most of the time they’re not really on time. Latergram, that’s my game.

Until then I hope y’all bear with me. I’m getting there. Almost. Just not quite. But I’m almost there.


Peace, love and a bullet-proof marshmallow y’all!
xJellybean74170


PS. I just remember. This month is supposedly my anniversary month for blogging, so yay for a new blog post. Yay to another supposedly anniversary if I may call that. Seems like this is the only constant happening in this blog. Me posting on my anniversary month. But whatevs! Lolz!

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I Quit!

Nope. Not blogging, duh!

Today, I came across this message from Teri Hatcher’s Instagram account . . .

If you’re going to quit anything, QUIT being lazy, QUIT making excuses and QUIT waiting for the right time.

Bull’s eye! Big time. Need to get off my lazy a**.

Thank you, Teri! Mwah 💋

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Help, The Grinch Is Back!

The holiday season wasn’t the easiest. Not when the devil is lurking around making me feel sad and bad all the time.

We still have no nannies/househelp, I'm still not feeling well and miserable. Tapioca is working on New Year' Eve and I’m left alone with the kids. One of them, cranky and fussy because he’s teething and not feeling well, too. Once again, I felt like I failed motherhood. I failed my kids. But I refused to feel what I was feeling. I fought the Grinch trying to steal my happiness. I reminded myself that this season is not about me. Not about my feelings or about failing. I reminded myself of the true meaning of this season.

Let's count my blessings, shall we?

I'm thankful I’m home for the holidays. It’s not every year that happens. I’m thankful it was me who’s watching the kids and spending the holidays with them at home. Kebs if there’s no yaya. Kebs if the house is a mess. My kids couldn’t even care less for as long as mommy's there to take care of them and their needs.

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Surviving Christmas

This is probably one of the saddest Christmas of my life. Tapioca working on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. No nannies around. No home cooked meals. No Noche Buena. No kids around. They were at my brothers’. Me all alone at home sick and feeling miserable.

I’m just glad I survived. I hibernated. I took all the rest I could and took all the meds I needed. I don't want to be sick until New Year’s. That’s gonna be really sad.

I looked at my social media feed and saw all those wonderful photos of friends and families all complete for the holidays. I can’t help but wonder. I asked myself “Do I feel jealous? Am I getting green with envy?” Hmmm maybe. Not. I have to double check. But seriously I wasn’t. In fact I was inspired.

Instead of sulking and being bitter and miserable I chose otherwise. I took all those happy photos as inspiration for our next Christmas. As a matter of fact, I already jotted down notes and made plans on how we will celebrate Christmas next year.

Because of this experience, I’ve learned something and realized that this quote is oh so true:

Happiness is a state of mind.

Happiness is a choice.

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Our Christmas Tree is Up

I finally decided to put up our Christmas tree last night. Unlike the past years, I somehow felt indifferent. It's like I wasn’t excited. Like I did not feel happy at all. It was strange. Setting up the tree has been a tradition that I look forward to. It always makes me happy and excited for the holidays.

However, it was different yesterday.

Munchkin was sick. She was not in the mood and didn’t feel like helping in putting the decors. She missed her class’ Christmas presentation. 

Yesterday was supposed to be the Christmas presentation before the school break. Tapioca didn't allow us to attend because Munchkin was still not feeling well. He said we needed to let her rest so as not to repeat what happened from her last school activity. You can read about it here.

Once again, I felt bad. This is the 2nd time she got sick when they were supposed to have a school program. Last time was during Linggo ng Wika. She was already high with fever but insisted on joining the program.

I was sad and disappointed. I mean, this was supposed to be another first for our Little Munchkin but what can I do? Who would have thought that this would happen again, being sick again before the school presentation? Am I being a bad Mom? Am I not taking care of her well? The stress and anxiety was killing me so I thought maybe putting up the Christmas tree would help.

Going back to my Christmas tree, I find the color theme and the floral decors boring. Or maybe the right words would be sad and depressing? I felt that it didn't spark joy. What do you think? 

I know my Christmas tree is fake and cheap but the decors did not help. It somehow made it look more cheap. It also felt lifeless.  I was so sorry it felt so fake. It just made me feel more sad than I already was.  

I swear, I'm going to get rid of those decors when Christmas is over. I wouldn't even think of recycling them. So sorry Mother Earth.

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Weekend Is Over

I’m in the bed right now sandwiched by Munchkin and Pumpkin. Can’t sleep so I’m typing away on my phone.

Tapioca is also deep asleep on the couch in the living room. This is our setup every weekend. I wonder how long it’s gonna last. The Munchkin refuses to sleep in her bedroom when she knows Mommy is at home. The four of us couldn’t fit in our semi-double bed. Well right now, there's just the three of us. It’s still a small fit but we make do.

Every night, when the kids are fast asleep, I look at them with a smile on my face. They look so peaceful. Far from the naughty, kulit kids during the day. At night, they look like angels quietly and peacefully sleeping in bed with me.

I thank God and praise him for the wonderful weekend I get to spend with them. For giving them to us. For the experience of becoming a mother. For knowing how my heart can be so big that I can love not just one one but two kids. I can love them both at the same time. For knowing there’s always space in my heart to love another child. I’d like to think that my heart just got bigger and it got space for more hahaha!

Well, my heart is full. And I knew exactly what it means now.

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Forgetful Me

I thought I only forgot about Munchkin’s assignment. I also forgot Nanay’s death anniversary. If it wasn’t for my brother who sent me a message a day before, I could have totally forgotten about it. 

So my brother sent a message asking if I had any plans for Nanay’s death anniversary. I was dumbfounded after reading it. I almost freak out. Like what heck just happened to me? First, Munchkin’s assignment. Now, Nanay?

I’m so bad. Really really bad. I guess it’s the after-effect of anesthesia. I’m forgetting a lot of stuff lately. Important stuff that is. I can’t afford to be like this. You know, when you’re a Mom everything and everybody depends on you. I have to get my sh*t together or my family will crumble down. Tapioca is going to give me an earful and I am going to hate him for it. 

Sigh. 

Motherhood. Striving for perfection always when in reality perfect is not always what it is. Still we do what we have to do because no one else will do it for us. Even if you have house help. The decision, the planning, the execution, everything is always going to depend on me. Yes, me. Oh my life. Mommy life. 

Oh mother dear. I totally get you now. I really do. I miss you Nanay. I wish you were still here but I know you’re happy where you are. 

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Stress . . . Again and Again

Hello. Long time no post. Been very busy and stressed lately because of recent changes at home. How do I begin?

Last week, the Munchkin got sick. It started with bouts of cough, then colds, and a full blown fever that would shoot up in the middle of the night. Pumpkin caught the bug too but it subsided after constant breastfeeding (I love breastfeeding!). 

Munchkin had her school activity scheduled last Saturday. They were given costumes as Igorot. Then I borrowed some necklaces from the office. It was originally used as an accessory from an activity in our office called Junk to Funk. It was made from recycled materials and it matches Munchkin's costume which was awesome. 

As I was saying, Munchkin was not feeling well after days of dance rehearsal at school. She's been absent for a few days but come Saturday, the day of her school activity, her fever was gone. I was quite hesitant then whether I should bring her to school or not but since we're already prepared . . . you know, the costume and all. 

I also ordered kakanin (puto and biko) for that day. I told myself we will just drop  the food at the school and leave. 

. . . special biko made by the nanny

Then I figured if we were just dropping by, we might as well let Munchkin go with us in her costume. Sayang naman kasi her costume and the necklace that I borrowed. We can have some pictures taken as souvenirs for her very first Linggo ng Wika. Except we will not let her join the dancing activity. Tapioca and the Munchkin agreed. However, when we were at the venue, she got upset and insisted on joining her classmates. She terribly wanted to dance. She was so excited as if she was not sick at all. 

What happened next was not what I was expecting. We did not finish the program and headed home to change. Munchkin’s fever was back again. And it was even higher than the last time. We have to go to the hospital. Pronto.

me and the little munchkin in her costume . . . 

It was a payday weekend so traffic was terrible. Booking a Grab car was such a pain. Thankfully, her pedia accommodated us despite it was already his clinic's after-hours. After examining her, we were advised for confinement due to fever of 4 days and no improvement even when Munchkin was taking antibiotics. 

This was us over the weekend.

. . . at the hospital - parang staycation lang, huh? :)

snuggle time with mommy . . . 

Pumpkin was left at home with the nannies. He was also feeling under the weather. Tapioca had to stay at the hospital while I went back and forth from the hospital to our home. I had to stay home because I needed to feed Pumpkin. 

. . . feeding the little guy

After spending so much time with her Daddy, the Munchkin started to miss me. One time she cried because she wanted to go home with me. Awww my heart melted. 

Then this week, Pumpkin’s nanny left. This has been planned in advance and we already got a replacement. But the timing was still off. I was running errands going back and forth to the hospital and I still had to train the new nanny. Not to mention Pumpkin still needs to warm up to her which will take some time.

So tell me, what is STRESS?  Life of a mom. My life. 

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Wanted: Nanny

I've been unable to blog again in weeks despite me being at home all the time. It was because I was not in the mood to write. My mind was all over the place. My stress level was over the roof. I was restless and unable to sleep. It has been a month.

No, it’s not postpartum depression. I really don’t think so. It was because of our financial situation. I was out of money and I was worried about our pay. The bills, the rent, pumpkin’s vaccination, etc. They're all pilling up. It did not help that my maternity benefit got delayed. I cannot imagine what will happen to us if Meralco suddenly cuts off our electricity.

Sad to say but I was not able to enjoy the last month of my maternity leave because of money problems.

. . . photo from https://www.flickr.com/photos/fortinbras/220338247

Well, the good news is I finally received my maternity benefit so I’m here back again writing. That is something to ease my worries. But the bad news is, there's really no end to worries. Money problem was somewhat solved. I’m going to work soon. Then my expected nanny suddenly backed out. We are once again back to looking for a nanny. It's so frustrating. I guess there is really no end to challenges in life.

I am fervently praying that we get a nanny for Pumpkin soon. Please pray for us.

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Vocabulary Improvement

. . . photo from wired.com

I’ve been trying to write blog posts again since I'm on maternity leave. Most of the time I had a hard time writing primarily for lack of time. When I finally have that precious time to compose my thoughts and start writing, I just find myself lost.

Lost in space, lost in my thoughts like there are one hundred and one things I wanted to share but don’t even know how or where to begin. I have created a few blog posts here and there and realized that I kept using the same words over and over again.

And it hit me. I’m having a hard time writing because my vocabulary SUCKS.

Come to think of it. When was the last time I read a novel? What was the last book I read? Hmmm, sad to say but I cannot remember. Was it prolly the Crazy Rich Asian or Fifty Shades of Gray? OMG. I think it was all the way from the time I was still pregnant with Munchkin. Five years ago. Half a decade ago. Such a long time indeed.

I guess it’s time to go back to reading books again, huh? I know I abandoned reading when I became a mom. It just frustrates me when it takes forever to finish a book. So for the longest time my reading materials were usually blogs who by the way are getting extinct by now. Sometimes news articles online and other times I read through threads from forums about parenting.

I really think it's about time to go back to my books. But the real question is, do I really have time to read? And if I do, I want it to be worthwhile. So the next question is, what can you guys recommend or suggest?


xjellybean74170

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Junk Food Is Life

I miss blogging. I seriously do. Times have changed. Some of the bloggers I follow already stopped blogging. A very few still existed and I am happy they're still alive.

It is hard nowadays to look or discover new blogs. Thanks to Google’s algorithm. All you see are ads.

Last night while doing some research on a snack bar, I came across a blog that I believe I should have discovered a long time ago. I mean, come one. Me, a junkie? I cannot believe I missed his blog.
Anyway, better late than never. Another good thing is he’s also on Instagram so I can get the latest deets on my junk foods. To all my fellow junkies, please follow Eric Huang on Instagram @junkfoodguy.

You're welcome! Hahahaha!

https://www.thejfg.com/

I know blogs are dying. Bloggers are a dying breed. Vloggers are the new king and queen of social media. But I believe (and will always do no matter what) that blogs and bloggers are here to stay. If I want them not to go into extinction, then I need to do my part to keep this little space of mine active. Though with all honesty, it is really hard with my procrastination and all. But I promise to try my very best to keep this blog alive for as long as I can.

So sorry for the rambling apology. I guess you can say my mantra for this year is "Stayin' Alive!"

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Six Weeks Post Partum

Last night after I took a shower, I was so surprised to find out that I was able to fit into my house clothes again. Yay! Thank you breastfeeding!

Honestly, I was kinda hesitant if I will ever get back to my pre-pregnancy body. My recent pregnancy was so different from the first one. I gained some weight and it's very much obvious because the fat went into my face and arms.

. . . 8 months pregnant with Pumpkin, check out my very round face and arms hahaha!!!

Nah, the picture was not stretched. I wish it was but it wasn't. Hahaha! I really gained more weight than I expected.

My first pregnancy with Munchkin after giving birth, I looked like I just took a dump and the baby bump was gone. Though there was still a little tummy pouch, I no longer looked pregnant. I was able to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes as soon as I got home from the hospital.

me at full term (first pregnancy), a day before Munchkin popped . . . still skinny with a watermelon baby bump :)

With Pumpkin’s pregnancy, I already gave birth but my tummy was so big I looked like I was still pregnant. The most shocking thing to me was when I had to fit into my house clothes. I was expecting that I will be able to fit into them just like with my first pregnancy. I came home disappointed. I mean, what was I thinking? I knew I gained weight and it's not just going to disappear so soon. There I was no longer pregnant but I was still wearing Nanay’s clothes (daster dresses) like I was still six months pregnant. 

To say that I was disappointed was an understatement. I was dumbfounded. I was taken aback at the thought of what might or might nor happen. What's going to happen if I don't lose weight? Should I start shopping for new clothes? What about my existing clothes? Those new clothes I've just bought that I still haven't worn? Should I start giving them away? 

So yeah, I was worried I might not lose it. I knew some people who didn’t. And I knew how they felt after realizing that there's just no way they can get back to their old bodies. For a moment, I finally understood what it felt like to be one of those moms who are saddened by the realities of the aftermath of giving birth. 

But I kept my hopes up. I know some changes are permanent but there are still changes that are temporary. I told myself not to worry and to keep on breastfeeding. They say breastfeeding is the key and if I keep on feeding Pumpkin for as long as I can, my body will be back to normal in no time.”

. . . face still swollen, hips, waist and shoulders still wide. And my legs, eeekkk!!! my pata legs!!!

After 3 weeks, my tummy did get smaller. But my hips were still big. Shoulders got wider, too. I tried getting into my old shorts and boy the shorts ripped in the crotch all the way to the back. It was so hilarious Tapioca, the nanny and Munchkin made fun of me.

But today is the day that I’ve been waiting for. After trying on my shorts again for the nth time, it finally fitted me. No more struggles of closing the zipper. And the buttons too! Thank God and thank breastfeeding. It really is a wonder.

Thinking about it now, I felt that whether I lose the weight or not, it did not really matter. I mean, I've been skinny my whole life so gaining some weight isn’t such a bad thing. Also, I’m already a mom. I’m old. My metabolism is not the same as when I was younger. And don’t get me started about exercise and dieting. No way will I do that to get back to my old body. Oh my, I digress.

What I’m trying to say here is even if I didn't lose the weight after pregnancy, I will still embrace my new body wholeheartedly. That's right. You read it right. Yeah, I may get a little insecure over someone who still looks sexy and fabulous after giving birth multiple times but Lord knows what I went through. What my body went through. And me, only me (myself and I) would understand all that. Instead of wallowing in self-pity and insecurities, I will think of what a superwoman I am for accomplishing things I thought I wouldn't be able to do and endure.

And last but not the least, what really matters the most to me now is my family. Tapioca and my kids. The unconditional love they're giving me whether I'm fat or skinny. Old and ugly. I know it sounds crazy but I believe I'm at the stage of my life wherein physical appearance just doesn't matter anymore. I am no longer looking for affection, approval, praises or even validation from anyone but my family. I can say I am one lucky mommy because everyday and every chance they can, they never forget to say how much they love me. And I think that's more than enough for me to value myself, to lift my self-esteem and confidence. 

And I thank you.

Peace, love and a bullet-proof marshmallow y'all!

Jellybean74170

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My Supposed 10th Year Anniversary of Blogging

. . . photo from google search

Hello Blogosphere!


I'm back. How have you been? I almost forgot that this year was supposed to be my 10th year of blogging. If I can really call it that way. I mean I've been gone for quite some time. As usual.


Is blogging still relevant at this day and age where different apps are popping left and right? And don't get me started with Instagram. Not to forget the new breed of bloggers called vloggers over at Youtube.


Sigh.


Times have changed. I am not even sure how to get my blog updated. So many things to do. So many pictures are waiting to be posted. Not enough time. I know, I know... I will never ever have enough of that.

Until then, I will take it one step at a time. So I'm taking this one. New post coming right up.


Thanks for your patience.

Peace, love and a bulletproof marshmallow y'all!



Jellybean74170

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