Six Weeks Post Partum

Last night after I took a shower, I was so surprised to find out that I was able to fit into my house clothes again. Yay! Thank you breastfeeding!

Honestly, I was kinda hesitant if I will ever get back to my pre-pregnancy body. My recent pregnancy was so different from the first one. I gained some weight and it's very much obvious because the fat went into my face and arms.

. . . 8 months pregnant with Pumpkin, check out my very round face and arms hahaha!!!

Nah, the picture was not stretched. I wish it was but it wasn't. Hahaha! I really gained more weight than I expected.

My first pregnancy with Munchkin after giving birth, I looked like I just took a dump and the baby bump was gone. Though there was still a little tummy pouch, I no longer looked pregnant. I was able to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes as soon as I got home from the hospital.

me at full term (first pregnancy), a day before Munchkin popped . . . still skinny with a watermelon baby bump :)

With Pumpkin’s pregnancy, I already gave birth but my tummy was so big I looked like I was still pregnant. The most shocking thing to me was when I had to fit into my house clothes. I was expecting that I will be able to fit into them just like with my first pregnancy. I came home disappointed. I mean, what was I thinking? I knew I gained weight and it's not just going to disappear so soon. There I was no longer pregnant but I was still wearing Nanay’s clothes (daster dresses) like I was still six months pregnant. 

To say that I was disappointed was an understatement. I was dumbfounded. I was taken aback at the thought of what might or might nor happen. What's going to happen if I don't lose weight? Should I start shopping for new clothes? What about my existing clothes? Those new clothes I've just bought that I still haven't worn? Should I start giving them away? 

So yeah, I was worried I might not lose it. I knew some people who didn’t. And I knew how they felt after realizing that there's just no way they can get back to their old bodies. For a moment, I finally understood what it felt like to be one of those moms who are saddened by the realities of the aftermath of giving birth. 

But I kept my hopes up. I know some changes are permanent but there are still changes that are temporary. I told myself not to worry and to keep on breastfeeding. They say breastfeeding is the key and if I keep on feeding Pumpkin for as long as I can, my body will be back to normal in no time.”

. . . face still swollen, hips, waist and shoulders still wide. And my legs, eeekkk!!! my pata legs!!!

After 3 weeks, my tummy did get smaller. But my hips were still big. Shoulders got wider, too. I tried getting into my old shorts and boy the shorts ripped in the crotch all the way to the back. It was so hilarious Tapioca, the nanny and Munchkin made fun of me.

But today is the day that I’ve been waiting for. After trying on my shorts again for the nth time, it finally fitted me. No more struggles of closing the zipper. And the buttons too! Thank God and thank breastfeeding. It really is a wonder.

Thinking about it now, I felt that whether I lose the weight or not, it did not really matter. I mean, I've been skinny my whole life so gaining some weight isn’t such a bad thing. Also, I’m already a mom. I’m old. My metabolism is not the same as when I was younger. And don’t get me started about exercise and dieting. No way will I do that to get back to my old body. Oh my, I digress.

What I’m trying to say here is even if I didn't lose the weight after pregnancy, I will still embrace my new body wholeheartedly. That's right. You read it right. Yeah, I may get a little insecure over someone who still looks sexy and fabulous after giving birth multiple times but Lord knows what I went through. What my body went through. And me, only me (myself and I) would understand all that. Instead of wallowing in self-pity and insecurities, I will think of what a superwoman I am for accomplishing things I thought I wouldn't be able to do and endure.

And last but not the least, what really matters the most to me now is my family. Tapioca and my kids. The unconditional love they're giving me whether I'm fat or skinny. Old and ugly. I know it sounds crazy but I believe I'm at the stage of my life wherein physical appearance just doesn't matter anymore. I am no longer looking for affection, approval, praises or even validation from anyone but my family. I can say I am one lucky mommy because everyday and every chance they can, they never forget to say how much they love me. And I think that's more than enough for me to value myself, to lift my self-esteem and confidence. 

And I thank you.

Peace, love and a bullet-proof marshmallow y'all!

Jellybean74170