The Highs and Lows of Breast Pumping

It’s my second week of pumping breast milk. In that short span of time, I get to experience the highs and lows of pumping breast milk.

Obviously the highs are the times when I'm getting so much milk from a good let down. The lows are when the milk is not coming out no matter how hard I try and even if I pump longer.

My first high came last Friday. I could not believe it happening. After testing my electric pump and trying to build a milk stash without success (yes, you read it right: unsuccessful) I was so high from happiness upon discovering that I was able to pump 5-6 oz of milk in just a single session. Finally, I said. I was so smug I thought I got this milk pumping business at hand.

5 oz!!! finally!!!

Since I thought I had enough stash for Monday, I stopped pumping during the weekend. I mean I will be at home all day. Pumpkin and I will do direct feeding. I get to rest my pump and the messy business of pumping, cleaning, washing and sanitizing feeding bottles and pump parts.

. . . pumping milk at the office

almost 6 oz this time! hooray!

Then came Monday. I was unable to get a successful let down. Oh -uh! That means we will have to supplement with formula. That thought wasn’t appealing but I would rather have Pumpkin had formula than for him to starve. There goes my pumping lows. It was so frustrating I wanted to quit.

But quitting is so easy to do. If I quit, that means we need to give more formula to Pumpkin. And I might lose my milk supply entirely. No more bonding time thru direct feeding because no more milk to supply. That’s not what I have set my heart for. That’s like throwing everything I have started and invested in. I am thankful I have a supportive husband. I am not quitting yet. Way too early.

I love breastfeeding. I love the fact that I can give my son the best milk even though I’m back to working again. So yeah, I am not quitting. The battle is not over. Not yet. I will keep on pumping even if there’s just too little milk coming out. Even if there’s no milk coming out. I will fight. For you my little Pumpkin. This is the sacrifice I make. The decision I made. The choice is always mine. And I choose what I believe what’s best for you and me.

. . . just look at that cutie pie, mommy will never give up.

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New Phone Cases I Got From Lazada

I got a new phone courtesy of Mama R! Well, it's not really new but a hand me down. So now I need a new phone casing that will suit my personality.
Lately, Tapioca has been enjoying online shopping much to my dismay. He knows I hate online shopping. The thought of getting low quality or worse counterfeited items scares the heck out of me. I mean, I am okay with online shopping especially for hard to find items. But then I noticed his shopping habits were going way too far. It's getting as far as buying stuff that can be found at the mall or getting unnecessary items for no reason at all. Just because he wanted it and he can afford to waste money on it. Why oh why?

His favorite site to shop right now is none other than ta-dah! LAZADA.

I know, not so surprising at all. Lazada is getting all the rage these days and I'm the only one who cannot comprehend. Truth be told, there were those times when I was actually surprised on how Tapioca was able to shop for hard to find items at a cheaper price.

Not to mention, it’s very convenient. Just a few clicks on your phone and wait for the delivery guy to show up at your doorstep. Delivery fee is also reasonable.

With all the pros I still find online shopping not for me. I like to see, feel and touch the items I wanted to purchase before handing out my money.

But then this new phone came. I needed a new phone casing ASAP. With a new baby who’s exclusively being breastfed, I find it difficult to go to the mall and shop around since I need to lug my little pumpkin with me all the time wherever I go.
And this is how I came to understand the hype on Lazada. Convenience is what exactly I needed. Tapioca showed me all the phone cases available online and I just went gaga! I wanted all of them! There were so many cool and gorgeous designs to choose from. And the prices, the prices! Really cheap!

Uh-oh there comes the magic word. CHEAP.

Read: China made. Quality might be compromised. Suddenly I got cold feet.

Tapioca assured me that there is still legit merchandise online and that we just have to check reviews. Anyway, it’s cheap and I have nothing to lose. So I gave online shopping a try.

. . . here's the lazada package!

packed so well  . . . 

They're individually packed and come with foams and bubble wraps. I love how they were handled so well! I’m happy to report that I'm very satisfied with my purchase. Check these babies out!

. . .  my new phone cases!!! they're soooo ME!!!!

I actually wanted to get 5 of them but my conscience was telling me that I was being unreasonable. If I really wanted to get all of them then I needed to earn some moolah first. So I settled into 2 phone cases. These were my top picks. Once I returned to work and started getting my paycheck then I could go back to Lazada and buy the rest (which of course did not happen hahaha!). Yeah, yeah. There goes my Mommy guilty conscience. Motherhood certainly has this effect of making you feel guilty every single time. Wala na akong ginawang tama. Bwahahaha! That's crazy me talking.

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Shi Lin - Greenbelt

It's almost over. My 105-day maternity leave. We are still looking for a new nanny so good luck to us. Our funds are depleting but I told myself I deserve a good meal. Something I did not prepare or cook. This is how I de-stress. Food binge.

I know it's not right and very unhealthy, especially when you're getting old and all. But my mental health is more important right now. Healthy eating can wait.

To lessen the guilt of spending too much money on food, we availed of a discount from Eatigo. Hooray! I think Eatigo and I will be good pals from now on.

We made a reservation at Shi Lin. Tapioca was so looking forward to it because it's Chinese, his favorite.

. . . the facade

We were a few minutes early for our reservation but they accommodated us right away. Although the restaurant was not full, they made all dining customers gather in this area close to the window. It's as if they wanted to say to everyone who passes by "Hey, look here! We're a full house coz our food is awesome!" They wouldn't let us transfer to another table considering we have a baby and a stroller.

If it wasn't for the Eatigo discount, I would have walked away. Like seriously! I guess this is the downside of dining when you do not pay full price. Luckily, the table behind us cleared out and I finally had room to walk and rock Pumpkin to sleep. Also, I was thankful they did not seat anybody at that table until we finished our meal. It's because they finally opened the area where we wanted to be seated originally.

Anyway, so much for that. Let's move on to the food. First to arrive on the table:

xiao long bao . . .

Tapioca approved. And so did the nanny. Though I must say, the skin was a little too thick to my liking.

. . . braised beef noodle soup

This was the nanny's order. It was super huge! We didn't expect it to be good for sharing. Tapioca liked the noodles. The beef pieces were freakin' soft and oh so tender! But then the soup was the total let down. It was on the sweet side. Also, it was served lukewarm. Unforch, we are not fans of sweet soup. But if you like the sweet kind like sukiyaki, then this one's for you.

hakaw . . .

This was just okay. Actually, I can't recall how it was. Perhaps I was busy taking care of Pumpkin when I ate them? I guess that's how forgettable these babies are. And that's bad considering I love hakaw.

. . . mapo tofu

Tapioca's choice. This was good but we had better.

shrimp and pork shaomai . . .

Aren't they pretty? I think they're the prettiest shaomai I've ever laid my eyes on. These were kinda big so you cannot eat them in one go. It had some soup inside just like xiao long bao. But, between the two? I'd still prefer the xiao long bao.

. . . salt and pepper squid

I'm not sure what happened to me but I have turned into a squid person. Every time I see squid/calamari on the menu, I just have to order it. Good thing it did not disappoint. I think it's better with fried rice but we didn't order any.

pork, salted egg & chorizo bun . . .

. . . the innards

This was super yummy. I'm not really into the bola-bola type of siopao but this was not your typical bola-bola. The meat filling was very flavorful and juicy. The salted egg wasn't overpowering. This kinda reminded me of the pan fried siopao we had from Lugang Cafe. It was Nanay's favorite so it goes to say that it reminded me of Nanay, too.

congee . . .

Jellybean's choice. This was the last to arrive. We thought they forgot about it. Once again, it came in a humongous bowl. Prolly good for 2-3 pax. No matter how good it was I knew for sure I wouldn't be able to finish it with all the other food we ordered.

Overall, we enjoyed our meal. So sulit the discount at half the price excluding drinks. It's just saddening that we can't take home the leftovers (Eatigo's terms and conditions). Well, technically we can. But if we take the leftovers home then we will have to pay them in full price. And that defeats the purpose of the discount.

I wish the waitstaff could have set our expectations. But oh well, we know better. Next time.

Or, could it be that they intentionally didn't really tell us? So we would feel guilty of having way too much uneaten food? Then we would have the urge to take it home instead and pay the full price? Whatever. Prolly just my mind playing what ifs. Lolz!!!!

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Wanted: Nanny

I've been unable to blog again in weeks despite me being at home all the time. It was because I was not in the mood to write. My mind was all over the place. My stress level was over the roof. I was restless and unable to sleep. It has been a month.

No, it’s not postpartum depression. I really don’t think so. It was because of our financial situation. I was out of money and I was worried about our pay. The bills, the rent, pumpkin’s vaccination, etc. They're all pilling up. It did not help that my maternity benefit got delayed. I cannot imagine what will happen to us if Meralco suddenly cuts off our electricity.

Sad to say but I was not able to enjoy the last month of my maternity leave because of money problems.

. . . photo from https://www.flickr.com/photos/fortinbras/220338247

Well, the good news is I finally received my maternity benefit so I’m here back again writing. That is something to ease my worries. But the bad news is, there's really no end to worries. Money problem was somewhat solved. I’m going to work soon. Then my expected nanny suddenly backed out. We are once again back to looking for a nanny. It's so frustrating. I guess there is really no end to challenges in life.

I am fervently praying that we get a nanny for Pumpkin soon. Please pray for us.

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