Our Christmas Tree is Up

I finally decided to put up our Christmas tree last night. Unlike the past years, I somehow felt indifferent. It's like I wasn’t excited. Like I did not feel happy at all. It was strange. Setting up the tree has been a tradition that I look forward to. It always makes me happy and excited for the holidays.

However, it was different yesterday.

Munchkin was sick. She was not in the mood and didn’t feel like helping in putting the decors. She missed her class’ Christmas presentation. 

Yesterday was supposed to be the Christmas presentation before the school break. Tapioca didn't allow us to attend because Munchkin was still not feeling well. He said we needed to let her rest so as not to repeat what happened from her last school activity. You can read about it here.

Once again, I felt bad. This is the 2nd time she got sick when they were supposed to have a school program. Last time was during Linggo ng Wika. She was already high with fever but insisted on joining the program.

I was sad and disappointed. I mean, this was supposed to be another first for our Little Munchkin but what can I do? Who would have thought that this would happen again, being sick again before the school presentation? Am I being a bad Mom? Am I not taking care of her well? The stress and anxiety was killing me so I thought maybe putting up the Christmas tree would help.

Going back to my Christmas tree, I find the color theme and the floral decors boring. Or maybe the right words would be sad and depressing? I felt that it didn't spark joy. What do you think? 

I know my Christmas tree is fake and cheap but the decors did not help. It somehow made it look more cheap. It also felt lifeless.  I was so sorry it felt so fake. It just made me feel more sad than I already was.  

I swear, I'm going to get rid of those decors when Christmas is over. I wouldn't even think of recycling them. So sorry Mother Earth.