The Highs and Lows of Breast Pumping

It’s my second week of pumping breast milk. In that short span of time, I get to experience the highs and lows of pumping breast milk.

Obviously the highs are the times when I'm getting so much milk from a good let down. The lows are when the milk is not coming out no matter how hard I try and even if I pump longer.

My first high came last Friday. I could not believe it happening. After testing my electric pump and trying to build a milk stash without success (yes, you read it right: unsuccessful) I was so high from happiness upon discovering that I was able to pump 5-6 oz of milk in just a single session. Finally, I said. I was so smug I thought I got this milk pumping business at hand.

5 oz!!! finally!!!

Since I thought I had enough stash for Monday, I stopped pumping during the weekend. I mean I will be at home all day. Pumpkin and I will do direct feeding. I get to rest my pump and the messy business of pumping, cleaning, washing and sanitizing feeding bottles and pump parts.

. . . pumping milk at the office

almost 6 oz this time! hooray!

Then came Monday. I was unable to get a successful let down. Oh -uh! That means we will have to supplement with formula. That thought wasn’t appealing but I would rather have Pumpkin had formula than for him to starve. There goes my pumping lows. It was so frustrating I wanted to quit.

But quitting is so easy to do. If I quit, that means we need to give more formula to Pumpkin. And I might lose my milk supply entirely. No more bonding time thru direct feeding because no more milk to supply. That’s not what I have set my heart for. That’s like throwing everything I have started and invested in. I am thankful I have a supportive husband. I am not quitting yet. Way too early.

I love breastfeeding. I love the fact that I can give my son the best milk even though I’m back to working again. So yeah, I am not quitting. The battle is not over. Not yet. I will keep on pumping even if there’s just too little milk coming out. Even if there’s no milk coming out. I will fight. For you my little Pumpkin. This is the sacrifice I make. The decision I made. The choice is always mine. And I choose what I believe what’s best for you and me.

. . . just look at that cutie pie, mommy will never give up.

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