The Highs and Lows of Breast Pumping

It’s my second week of pumping breast milk. In that short span of time, I get to experience the highs and lows of pumping breast milk.

Obviously the highs are the times when I'm getting so much milk from a good let down. The lows are when the milk is not coming out no matter how hard I try and even if I pump longer.

My first high came last Friday. I could not believe it happening. After testing my electric pump and trying to build a milk stash without success (yes, you read it right: unsuccessful) I was so high from happiness upon discovering that I was able to pump 5-6 oz of milk in just a single session. Finally, I said. I was so smug I thought I got this milk pumping business at hand.

5 oz!!! finally!!!

Since I thought I had enough stash for Monday, I stopped pumping during the weekend. I mean I will be at home all day. Pumpkin and I will do direct feeding. I get to rest my pump and the messy business of pumping, cleaning, washing and sanitizing feeding bottles and pump parts.

. . . pumping milk at the office

almost 6 oz this time! hooray!

Then came Monday. I was unable to get a successful let down. Oh -uh! That means we will have to supplement with formula. That thought wasn’t appealing but I would rather have Pumpkin had formula than for him to starve. There goes my pumping lows. It was so frustrating I wanted to quit.

But quitting is so easy to do. If I quit, that means we need to give more formula to Pumpkin. And I might lose my milk supply entirely. No more bonding time thru direct feeding because no more milk to supply. That’s not what I have set my heart for. That’s like throwing everything I have started and invested in. I am thankful I have a supportive husband. I am not quitting yet. Way too early.

I love breastfeeding. I love the fact that I can give my son the best milk even though I’m back to working again. So yeah, I am not quitting. The battle is not over. Not yet. I will keep on pumping even if there’s just too little milk coming out. Even if there’s no milk coming out. I will fight. For you my little Pumpkin. This is the sacrifice I make. The decision I made. The choice is always mine. And I choose what I believe what’s best for you and me.

. . . just look at that cutie pie, mommy will never give up.

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Drugs and Alcohol

I was having an early morning migraine and the first thing that popped into my head was mefenamic acid, the strong kind. But poor lactating mommy me stopped myself. No can do. Have to take paracetamol instead.

. . . photo from photo from https://www.hegghc.org/drug-and-alcohol-abuse/

Gawd, I miss my pain killers. I miss my cocktails. I miss a lot of things breastfeeding mommy can't ingest. I sounded like I have a drug and drinking problem. Hahaha.

Anyway, two more months and Munchkin can drink fresh milk. I can start weaning her off and start doing other things. My drugs and alcohol, we will meet again soon.

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Musing

Today, as I wiped the poop off my baby girl's butt, I realized this is going to be the last time her poo would smell like this - not smelly nor stinky. Because tomorrow she will be six months old. Halfway to her first birthday.  Tomorrow we would introduce her to solid food. Another milestone for us. 

It was my dream to exclusively breastfeed for at least six months and I'm so glad to have done so. I must admit it was difficult (in the beginning) but Tapioca's encouragement helped me push through. 

Part of exclusive breastfeeding that I was aiming for means giving solid food not until she's 6 months old. Though our baby is already showing signs that she's ready to eat, it takes a lot of effort and discipline not to give in. 

I am happy, I have a good support system from my family most especially from my dear husband who understands and shares my beliefs and feelings on how we should take care and raise our child.

my happy baby . . .

Our little charmer. Always smiling and laughing. 

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